Video Game v. Girlfriend?

Ladies, I'd like to take a poll. Please offer up your opinions regarding boyfriends over the age of 25 whom find it uberimportant to play video games. This is a free speech poll, but please do not mention names if using examples... we don't want to hurt anyone's reputation, do we?

Please find below some interesting points of view that I extrapolated from a website called Joystiq, which offered up an article on 'Girlfriends against Video Games' based on a group at Kansas State University. The following text is derived from the university's paper, the Kansas State Collegian. (Meanwhile, keep in mind that our poll is strictly limited to men over the age of 25 who play video games... NOT college-aged boys.)

Where do you stand?

My boyfriend is a dork.

You’ve probably seen him; he’s that guy sitting in the back of your classroom wearing a fuzzy bathrobe and mismatched shoes. Seriously, turn around - he’s back there.

Despite the fact that I’m continually amazed by the extent of his dorkiness, he’s kind of a cool dork, and I’d like him to continue being my boyfriend.

Because of this, I’ve sacrificed much of my own coolness to acclimate myself to the dork subculture. In time, I’ve come to tolerate and sometimes even enjoy dorky staples like online comic strips, anime and Adult Swim.

I’m lying. I still can’t tolerate anime.

By far, the hardest thing to get used to was the hours upon hours spent using a chunk of plastic and some cords to make a little guy on TV fight with other little guys on TV. For most people lacking a Y chromosome, everything about video games is confusing, from the plotline to the controllers to why it was necessary to skip all classes the day “Halo 2” came out.

Because dorky boys will not soon put down the controllers, and because - just like hell - the world of video games has many levels, here’s a taste of what you’re in for if the love of your life is an Xbox-aholic.

Level one: 16-bit bliss

If your boyfriend’s video game addiction is confined to a Super Nintendo, count yourself a lucky woman. Games like “Donkey Kong” and “Super Mario World” are typically no more complicated than running, jumping and eating bananas. Even my mom can handle these games.

Some games, like “Super Smash Brothers,” take the spirit of these primitive offerings and adapt it to an advanced gaming system. Even though it’s almost entirely combat, “Smash Brothers” isn’t too hard to understand. If all else fails, do what I do - keep hitting the B button until your thumb cramps.

Level two: Role-playing games

These can be hit-or-miss. If the game has a stupid plotline (and, to be fair, most do), be prepared for hours of boredom and high levels of irritation when your boyfriend shows more affection for the game characters than for you.

However, if you find a good game, watch out - entire weekends can disappear in a game-induced stupor. When I got my boyfriend “Fable,” I became so engrossed in its intricate plotline (my character could barter, go fishing, get married and kill wasps with an iron katana) that the only task I accomplished for an entire week was finding the 20 silver keys necessary to obtain the Murren Greathammer.

When I finally found it, I wept with joy. And then I slapped myself.

Level three: First-person shooters

Girls who can understand and even enjoy “Halo” shouldn’t be reading this article — they should be deciding between the thousands of guys fighting over the opportunity to date them.

For the other girls, I have no advice. “Halo” is stupid, and you’ll become stupider if you try to understand it. If your boyfriend can’t live without three hours of “Halo” a night, all is not lost — that’s three hours a night you have to study, hang out with friends or possibly find a new boyfriend.

Level four: The agony of MMORPGs (massive multiplayer online role playing games)

In these games, dorky boys pay a monthly fee to play very complicated online games with people around the world. These are bad news. If a boy ever breaks plans to attend an online meeting with other gamers, this is legitimate grounds for breaking up. If he refers to this engagement as a “guild meeting,” it’s definitely time to break up.

Immediately.

Jaci Boydston somehow found time to write this column between "Doom 3" sessions, and the editors managed to proofread it while putting "Rengoku: The Tower of Purgatory" on pause. Please send your comments to opinion@spub.ksu.edu.

3 comments:

Michele said...

As long as the video games don't come inbetween me and my boyfriend, he can play all he wants!

tiffany said...

I introduced him to good ole "old skool" Nintendo. So, if he's addicted to Defender or Dr. Mario, it's because I started the bug. However, he always asks if he can play, or usually starts up a game when I'm working on something else. Luckily, he never uses it for a diversion. That's what a good 6 year relationship will do to them! They listen oh so well!

bency said...

That great interesting article brings lot of sense of living,what happens in your relation when you are addicted.

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